I guess I could either make this about like actual, serious struggles that I or other people deal with. OR I COULD MAKE IT ABOUT MINOR THINGS THAT BOTHER ME THAT DON’T MATTER IN THE LONG RUN!!! Judging by how excited I seemed just then I think I’m leaning towards the second one. If you guys promise to keep reading then maybe one day I’ll post about the first one.
So this should be organized right? This one will be limited to non family. Family gets it’s whole seperate thing.
– That moment when you make eye contact with a person and you’re unsure of whether or not you should just keep your eyes moving to try and make it look like you were just scanning the area or to give them that awkward “oh you see me seeing you, my bad” half smile.
– When you use public transport and ya got your headphones in, bitch face on, gaze averted, and bag ever so slightly protruding into the seat next to you all in hopes that no one will sit next to you AND THEN SOMEONE DOES. Why? You did all the right things? You were being as unsociable as is polite to be, why don’t they get that? This, by the way, does not apply to a full bus or train car. If it’s getting packed then I suck it up. It’s when there are several empty seats that aren’t near me that I get bothered.
– When you’re at the store and you keep passing the same stranger and at first you’re like “ok this is a small enough store for that to happen I guess,” but then after a few more times that turns into “ok um I guess I have a stalker now because I went from looking at tomatoes to looking at paint swatches and here you are still” and as you get in the car you are looking around like a crazy person because you don’t want the police to have to explain to your mother why you’re dead in a parking lot clutching men’s socks and adult diapers with a look of utter fear and insanity permanently on your dead face.
– When you’re in the drive-thru and I mean, you’re breaking your diet anyway so why not get a milkshake instead of a drink, right? And when you pull up to the window and they got their judgy face on so you put on your face that says “oh this isn’t for me, as you can see from my overweightness and acne I CLEARLY make good healthy food decisions, my “friend” asked me to get this for her, I’m just a really good friend.” Whatever. They’re probably a whore anyway.
– When a stranger asks you a question and you didn’t catch what they said. So then you take a liiiitle too long trying to figure out if you should ask them to repeat themselves or just smile and nod and they tell you to never mind just as you start asking them to repeat themselves so you cut yourself off and turn it into the smile and nod and you look like someone just turned your brain right off. You purse your lips a little bit too so there’s a toadlike element thrown in.
– When you walk in and do that smile that says “yes I have appeared to begin my allotted time, let’s not make this any more cumbersome by adding conversation” and they start telling you about why they are considering a very slightly different hair style.
– When you’re on your lunch break and someone bothers you with a question. And it’s never something that only you have the answer to. Literally anyone else could answer it. But no, they needed YOU to do it.
– When you’re boss walks by just as you’re demonstrating exactly how ridiculous that group of guys at your friend’s wedding looked trying to dance to Gangnam Style. Yeah. That one happened.
– You are having such a slow day and then something mildly funny happens and you laugh like you’ve never experienced humor before. And people stare. Because really, it wasn’t THAT funny but your day has been as dry as some clever metaphor that is REALLY DRY so you laugh way harder than is socially acceptable. Like the laugh that’s just you silently jiggling trying to catch your breath enough to explain exactly why you’re acting like a crazy person.
Yeah for this section I have fewer because I don’t feel comfortable sharing a lot of details about my job due to the confidential nature of many of the things I with work with. So…yeah….
– I really love you guys and don’t have any good ones to put here. Just laugh and nod at the screen like I said something funny and clever.
Did I leave anything out? Well yes but that’s because I didn’t want to come off as totally insane.