Wedding FAQ

When you tell people you’re engaged there is immediately a reaction.  It’s usually positive and it’s usually followed by A BUNCH of questions. You may not have ever said more than hello to this person and here they are asking why you would ever choose tulips when roses exist. Spoiler- we aren’t using either. And everyone has an idea about how your wedding should go and they usually find a way to pepper it into the conversation. And if your vision for your wedding isn’t in line with theirs they usually find a way to let you know that as well. You want examples, you say? Well alright.
Oh you’re engaged, Rebekah?  Congrats!  When is the big day?
I don’t mind this question. It’s the most reasonable of the questions. Really, the only negative here is if it’s people that aren’t going to be invited because now they know when it is and if the information on what time of that day and where is leaked then they could invite themselves.
What colors are you guys going with?
Again, not so bad. They may not like those colors but usually they have enough manners to keep that to themselves.
Oh. Rainbow? That’s…..never seen a RAINBOW wedding before.
Yeah well my guess is you’re lame and stupid so shut it. I couldn’t pick like two colors so I went with rainbow. Deal with it.
Oh. Rainbow. I thought Toby was a boy. So you’re a lesbian?
Did I mention these were real life examples? First off- rude.  Second- um ok? Gays don’t have a monopoly on rainbows. Knock that shit off.
So how many bridesmaids are you gonna have?
I mean, I really don’t mind this question but do you actually care or are you just killing time until you can go be awful elsewhere?
Black bridesmaids dresses? That could look like a funeral.
Yup. With the rainbows and wedding dress and smiling people and dancing it’s gonna look like a real service of memorial for the deceased.
I thought you said rainbow. Black isn’t rainbow.
Well I don’t want it to look like a preschool or a carnival so just reign it in and wait to see what I do with it. Jeez.
What’s your wedding budget? 
If I have not ever brought you into my personal finances before then you don’t really get to ask this question. Later on when I brag about how little I spent, THEN this would be a reasonable question.
What kind of food will you have?
It is a year away. Don’t concern yourself with this. I don’t even know the answer.
Who is your maid of honor?
Did you wanna do it? If you are asking this then it’s highly likely that A) you probably are a real detail oriented person and you apply that to EVERY area of life. B) you are simply curious or C) you are a person that would not know who it was if I told you their name and you’re not even gonna be at the damn wedding anyway so why are you asking me all these things?
Are you guys waiting until the wedding night to…..ya know….
Finish the question. Ask me a SUPER personal question that does not concern you even a tiny bit. See how that goes for ya.
Aren’t you a little young to be getting married?
While I understand and appreciate your concern, I don’t think you need to worry about this. This tells me that you don’t think I need to be getting married and I obviously disagree.

Alright I’m done with the examples.  Seriously,  I love talking about my wedding plans, I can’t shut up about them. But if you can’t respectfully inquire about it then please just don’t. By the way, I did not even bring up the questions I get when I tell people I proposed to Toby.  That’s for another post.

If you guys have any questions that I didn’t cover that you don’t think I would mind then ask away!


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